Quiet Resistance in Everyday Life

Today’s reflection comes from Rula, an Abianda Trustee whose work spans systems change and children’s services. She offers a personal lens on quiet resistance, the subtle, everyday ways women reclaim space, autonomy and power, often overlooked by systems that only recognise certain kinds of strength.

Shopping in the men’s section…

Conforming is not my thing. Shopping in the men’s section is one small act of rebellion. 

I grew up in an era where girls’ clothing was fitted, revealing and frankly, uncomfortable. Low rise. High heels. Cropped everything. It’s striking how normalised it all was. How the sexualisation of girls could hide in plain sight, stitched into trends we accepted as ‘fashion’. Being seen meant being looked at, and being looked at meant making yourself available for scrutiny. It was loud, even when no one said anything. How much has really changed.

At one point or another I began shopping in the men’s section – oversized, playful and comfortable. They let my body be something other than an object to be evaluated. They give me space - literal and symbolic - to exist outside of an image of femininity I inherited but don’t abide.

This quiet form of resistance is echoed in all the girls and young women Abianda work with. Their ways of resisting aren’t always loud or visible. They can be hidden, subtle and misunderstood by systems that only recognise certain kinds of strength. But their refusal to conform, their instinct to protect themselves, their ways of reclaiming space are real forms of power - even when they aren’t immediately obvious.

My oversized shirt might not look like resistance to you. But it’s a soft rejection and an empowering form of autonomy that doesn’t need to be loud to be real.

Rula, Abianda Trustee